RACE 14 - THE GAUNTLET - 3rd April

From the race website "To complete The Gauntlet you will need to conquer the toughest terrain possible, this will include wadding through waist deep water filled pits, crossing mud filled tracks, scrabbling up and down near vertical mud covered hills and dealing with lots of mud. Oh and don’t forget the miles of woodland and track you will need to get round. These events are not about PB’s, you will be happy to finish.......  Its location - Bures Pit (see their gallery for some quite funny pictures of 4 by 4's marooned - http://www.bures-pit.co.uk/gallery/index.html ) is a privately owned quarry in the heart of the Essex countryside, 15 miles from Colchester with exclusive access to wild woodland, scrub-land and rough track. The quarry offers some of the most challenging off-road terrain in the region. The venue is a labyrinth of water obstacles, boggy tracks, steep inclines and lots of mud. This place eats 4 by 4’s for breakfast. Imagine what it could do to you! Spectators welcome!"  


There is also an interesting article written by a Mens' Fitness magazine journalist.  I must have been running with him for much of the race as I was part of the group that startled a deer.  Also I finished 1 second behind him.  http://www.muckyraces.co.uk/cmsincludes/File/S%20MUD%20RACE.pdf

The route out to Colchester takes you past the Olympic site which while still a sea of cranes, is beginning to look very impressive now some of the buildings are finished.  While obviously I cannot give you a full architectural critique - as I was driving - however the road was pretty empty at that time of the morning so I could dawdle.  The main stadium is a bit 'Mechano' for my liking  (and why do architects always use white metalwork - looks great on day one but who's going to clean it?) It was impressive though as was the gorgeous wooden clad velodrome which was all swooping sensuous curves - as would be the aquatics centre if they hadn't been obliged to add extra seating either side which really looks like what it is - an ill-conceived add-on.  It will look fantastic after the Olympics have finished though.  There were a couple of other buildings which were quite frankly weird - no idea what they were, but I'm assuming (hoping!) that they are temporary ones.  Even the car park was impressive with those big external spiral ramps - the type much beloved by American movie makers in car chase scenes.  In fact the worse buildings I managed to catch a glimpse of were those of the athletics village which quite frankly looked like Eastern European Stalinist blocks.  


Enough architectural criticism.  On the way there - just past Chelmsford, passed the most enormous car boot sale (well that's what I assumed it was) with camper vans etc.  so I'm assuming people actually  arrived the night before!  Covered a massive field and most of the traffic seemed to disappear off at that junction so I had virtually a clear run from then on. Oddly, when I passed on the way back at about 1pm, it was almost deserted.   


As per usual I mistimed the drive so arrived early.  Went in search of a paper finally tracking one down in a nearby town.  The only Sunday broadsheets were Telegraph or Times - when I asked for the Independent she said they had sold their one! Beautiful area though on the western fringes of Dedham Vale (Constable country - the painter not a police state) just not particularly liberal (small non-political 'L').


Never mind it was a beautiful day and much to my delight on arriving at the parking field (third one there) the catering van was already operational and serving tea!  Soon began to fill up though which is when the thoughtfulness of the organisers began to tell.  Had all the cars pointing down hill so in the event that it rained we could at least start off in the right direction to the exit without wheel-spinning; they had set aside enough women only toilets - in fact this has been the only event where the men had to queue; they arranged the course with a high viewpoint for the spectators - overlooking the area of maximum runner suffering/ large muddy puddles - the converse of which was maximum area of cheering (or jeering) by spectators which was a real lift as you went round - and so on.

It was a different format form last year which was a straight forward (if you can call a race over that terrain) 10k.  This year is was a 2 lap race of 6k each so twice the spectator "enjoyment"  or a shorter 5k race.  The twice the "enjoyment" factor was that competitors had to go through "The Pit" twice - so twice through the muddy puddles which were of course muddier on the second lap because of the number of people who had gone through them etc.  Basically what the organisers had done which was less "thoughtful" and more downright "sadistic" was to ensure that the taped off route took you through the middle of each of the "puddles" - if you can call waist-deep mud (or deeper if you either chose the wrong racing line or were unfortunately short).


At 11am we were sent off to the cheers of the spectators - down around the car-parking field, where we found that the first flush of spring had a surprise in store - which those of us in short racing socks were particularly appreciative.  The first growth of stinging nettles and there was no dodging them!  So with numb ankles we ran somewhat slower back up the hill - again to cheers - and into 'the pit' for the first time (there really ought to be a drum roll or a disembodied echo-y voice whenever 'the pit' is mentioned - I wonder if I can get sound onto the blog?)


Not surprisingly, the first part went pretty much as expected with deeply rutted tracks, steep inclines - both up and down, mud, more mud ......  Some of the steeper inclines they had thoughtfully provided knotted rope to assist - they were that steep - though a finely tuned athlete such as myself had no need for such aids (well not on the first lap anyway - I was glad of them on the second!)  The next part of the route was actually through a real bog vaulting over fallen trees (again that was the first lap - second lap was a little more sedate and involve clambering rather than vaulting) as opposed to just mud - the main difference being?  The smell! 


Once through that it was out into the fields.  We discovered why the person who gave the race briefing said this with such glee.  Basically it was a field which we ran up (approximately 100 yards) then back down again, turned round and ran back up, then down, up then down, up then down ....... I think it was 4 or 5 times but to be honest it felt more like 50!  They then made us cross the stream and a fallen log (clambered this time certainly not vaulted) and along the valley until they made us run up another field.  This last field broke a lot of people - there was a lot of walking.  At the top we re-entered (drum roll) "the pit".  So a bit of a repeat 'with deeply rutted tracks, steep inclines - both up and down, mud, more mud ...... '   A couple of added attractions included obstacles such as large tyres you had to clamber over, deeper mud, some brambles - in fact brambles became pretty much a feature.  If you lost your footing and grabbed something to gain balance - it would be a bramble.  If you tried to take the edge of a muddy pit rather than plough through the middle - you'd end up going through brambles.  if you fell over - you'd land in brambles.  Basically if it wasn't muddy - it scratched you!


Finished the first lap up a ridiculously steep slope with the cheers of the spectators driving you on - and off round the second lap.  At this point mentally you consider that maybe, just maybe you should have done the short course instead?  


Never mind, this time the stinging nettles of no concern as a) our legs were numb anyway and b) we were so caked in mud that nettles were impotent .  At this point the comradery  rather than racing took over and quite a lot of banter was exchanged and assistance up the steep or slippery parts (of course this did depend a bit on how much breath / strength you had left).  I'm not sure psychologically which I prefer - a single lap race when you're never too sure what surprise is in store so you take it a little easier 'just in case' or a race like this - where you know exactly what is next for instance "the field" so you try and hold something back 'just in case'.  


Anyway it was all a mute point because just before the bog (the smelly bit) on a steep slope that I was now using the rope as assistance I heard the exasperated but dulcet tones of "oh for goodness sake" - I was being  "chicked".  I should explain.  This is a term I discovered in my latest triathlon magazine which means, as you've probably guessed, being overtaken by a woman.  Needless to say this affects certain people i.e. the Alpha Male, more than others i.e. the Elderly  Male (me).  The alpha male sees it as an affront to their masculinity whereas the elderly male is more likely to appreciate something far more attractive than the fast approaching sodding field!  I'm not sure whether the term was coined by them but it certainly was a feature in the article about the "Knackered Dads Tri Club" whose motto was "Too young to give up ..... old enough to tri".  You've probably guessed that these were a bunch of rugby players who on discovering fatherhood and the fact that aches and pains don't disappear quite as quickly - entered triathlons with a similar spirit to their rugby playing exploits.  

Basically at this point found my pace I was comfortable with, was overtaken by a few runners, overtook some others including one or two we managed to lap.  All a bit of a blur of hills, mud, brambles, bunny girls .......!  Yes bunny girls.  Not something you normally expect to find - but at one point strategically placed either side of a particularly glutinous muddy pit, two young ladies in aforementioned outfits stationed themselves cheering us on.  We found out why quite quickly.  The only way to enter the pit was sliding one foot in front of the other into the mud.  Obviously those of us who were doing the two laps were a little tired at this point and would mistime their slide and end up headlong much to the girls merriment.  Fortunately I made it through relatively un-muddied only to fall headlong at the next one with no audience! 


By this time and as per usual, I was running with a couple of guys in a group.  We managed to keep up a reasonable pace egging each other on until the final climb where I couldn't catch the guy in front and the person behind couldn't catch me.  It was then a 50 yard sprint/stagger to the finish.


One other thing that stuck in my mind was at the end they were handing out free sports drinks.  I saw a grey haired lady with a "sucking lemons" type of expression.  I suggested that she should look happy as she'd finished (I hope she was doing the 5k race - I didn't think to check) to which she replied this [sports drink] tastes like sh*t! At which point she poured it out and a smile lit up her face.  The reason it was so memorable is when I went to the spectator area to take some more photos, I passed her and another lady 'of a certain age' with a champagne bottle drinking out of champagne flutes cheering on the finishers.  Classy! 


That's pretty much it - drive home was pretty uneventful though I did spend half an hour in a lay-by having 40 winks.  Glad I did, as passed a car whose driver obviously was too tired and he was drifting across lanes etc.  passed by the Olympic site again - gained no further insights approaching it from a differing viewpoint but a note to self - book some tickets this month!

After two showers and a soak managed to get most of the silt and mud off me and most of off my kit though as you can see from the state of my trainers - I was carrying a bit of extra weight around.  Also liberally applied TCP to every cut and scratch as the previous year I'd a toe go septic that had kept me out of racing/ sport for a couple of weeks. 


Result: 27th out of 244 finishers in a time of 1:14:20